This is my Fight Song
by King-Queen-and-Ace
Summary: -Take back my life song Prove I'm alright song My power's turned on (Starting right now) I'll be strong I'll play my fight song And I don't really care if nobody else believes 'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me
Hi! This is my first fanfic, so please be gentle!

Also, the paragraphs with asterisks are flashbacks.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers or Fight Song (the actual song). All rights go to Marvel and Rachel Plattern.

* * *

Fight Song  
 _Like a small boat,_ _  
_ _On the ocean_ _  
_ _Sending big waves,_ _  
_ _Into motion_ _  
_ _Like how a single word,_ _  
_ _Can make a heart open_ _  
_ _I might only have one match,_ _  
_ _But I can make an explosion_

People think the Black Widow is weak compared to the rest of the Avengers. Because she doesn't have the strength of the Hulk, the genius of Iron Man, the godliness of Thor, the aim of Hawkeye, the honour of Captain America. They think she's just a pretty face with a gun. They're wrong. The Avengers know this. She may not look powerful, but she can still cause an explosion.

* * *

 _And all those things I didn't say_ _  
_ _Wrecking balls inside my brain_ _  
_ _I will scream them loud tonight_ _  
_ _Can you hear my voice this time?_

She had the worst experiences out of the Avengers. The Avengers know this. They just don't know how (badly) she deals with it. They don't see her (scream) at night.

* * *

 _This is my fight song_ _  
_ _Take back my life song_ _  
_ _Prove I'm alright song_ _  
_ _My power's turned on_ _  
_ _(Starting right now) I'll be strong_ _  
_ _I'll play my fight song_ _  
_ _And I don't really care if nobody else believes_ _  
_ _'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me._

When she just joined S.H.I.E.L.D. she needed to prove she was loyal. The best way to do this was to begin to wipe the red from her ledger. So she did. She did everything she could to wipe it clean. So she went on mission after mission slowly wiping her ledger clean.

* * *

 _Losing friends and I'm chasing sleep_ _  
_ _Everybody's worried about me_ _  
_ _In too deep_ _  
_ _Say I'm in too deep (I'm in too deep)_

Natasha never slept anymore. She couldn't close her eyes and rest because of the nightmares plaguing her sleep. Finding HYDRA in SHIELD, putting her history on the Internet, losing Bruce. It was taking a heavy toll on her. And she couldn't talk to Clint about it: he had a family now.

The flashback courtesy of Wanda hadn't helped her nightmares. But her nightmares were different now. Instead of red rooms, ballet shoes and white snow, she dreamt of losing her teammates, her _friends._

 _***_ "Oh hey Nat, how's it going?" Steve asked her on day, trying to sound casual.

"It's going good Steve." Natasha murmured, distracted by the files laid out on the table in front of her.

"Cool." Steve said silence watching her for a few minutes as she crossed off people on a list by her side.

"What Rogers, what do you want?" slightly irritated as he realized he wasn't leaving. "Um, Nat, are you sure you're okay?" Steve asked all attempts at being casual forgotten.

"Yes I'm fine." Natasha gritted out. Steve sighed, gathering up the courage to speak up again, "It's just that… you've changed Nat, you're not the same. We're worried about you. All of us. Even Tony." Natasha turned to face him. "You haven't been sleeping, you go on missions all the time, and if you're not on a mission you train." Steve paused and gestured to the files scattered around her, "And you're obsessed with cleaning your ledger. Nat, it's already been wiped clean." Natasha smiled sadly at him, "No Steve, no it's not. It's still red."***

* * *

 _And it's been two years_ _  
_ _I miss my home_ _  
_ _But there's a fire burning in my bones_ _  
_ _And I still believe_ _  
_ _Yeah I still believe._

Natasha sat in a café, drinking a cappuccino, facing Avengers Tower. It had been two years since she had seen any of them, talked to any of them. They sent her messages sometimes. She watched them, but never returned them. She couldn't go back there. Not until her ledger was completely clean. And her ledger was still red. So she finished her coffee, threw the cup in a bin, and moved onto her next target.

* * *

 _And all those things I didn't say_ _  
_ _Wrecking balls inside my brain_ _  
_ _I will scream them loud tonight_ _  
_ _Can you hear my voice this time._

 _***_ She screamed in her sleep, before waking up clammy and shivering. Waking up scared. Clint rushed into her room. _It's fine, Nat you're fine. We're on the helicarrier, you're safe, I promise._ Only Clint could see her like this. When the nightmares made her scream and turn her into a scared little girl. Only Clint could rescue her from the nightmares. They broke and tore down her mind; a mental wrecking ball. She was always safe in Clint's arms.***

* * *

 _This is my fight song_ _  
_ _Take back my life song_ _  
_ _Prove I'm alright song_ _  
_ _My power's turned on_ _  
_ _(Starting right now) I'll be strong_ _  
_ _I'll play my fight song_ _  
_ _And I don't really care if nobody else believes_ _  
_ _'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me._

They all asked her if she was alright. Alright to keep fighting, to keep seeing war. But she was fine, that's what she said to them, that's what she kept telling herself. So she kept fighting. And she was fine. That's what she told herself when she couldn't save the children's hospital from burning, and the nightmares came.

* * *

 _A lot of fight left in me_

* * *

 _Like a small boat  
On the ocean  
Sending big waves  
Into motion  
Like how a single word  
Can make a heart open  
I might only have one match  
But I can make an explosion_

She remembered when she was young she was told that even though she was small, she would make big change. She had never understood that as a child.

*** "Natasha." Clint said noticing her first. And then the rest of them crowded round her, looking so _happy_. And as they talked to her showing, smiling, laughing, she realized she didn't have to do everything alone.***

* * *

 _This is my fight song_ _  
_ _Take back my life song_ _  
_ _Prove I'm alright song_ _  
_ _My power's turned on_ _  
_ _(Starting right now) I'll be strong_ _  
_ _I'll play my fight song_ _  
_ _And I don't really care if nobody else believes_ _  
_ _'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me_

And so, Natasha was back, back to being an Avenger, back to being in a family.

She fights on to the very end.

* * *

 _Now I've still got a lot of fight left in me._

* * *

 **I hope you liked it! Please review! Constructive criticism is always welcome!**


End file.
